Mar 23, 2009 update by Janet-68
<- Photo taken on	Feb 10, 2008
Journey start date	Aug 5, 2005	Currently at 8.33% of goal
Total loss since start	15 lbs	Now has 165 lbs left to goal
Since last update	Gained 4 lbs
Weight at this update	348 lbs
42 of 42
The Gap...		My Picture Progress

I was really excited about going on Spring Break with my family a couple of weeks ago. I knew I had been peddling my stationary bike every morning for over 2 months and was excited to be in weather and flat riding conditions for my street bike. I was looking forward to better performance and figured I would be tooling around everywhere on my bike. We stayed in a State Park where you can ride a trail to the beach in about 10-15 minutes. I got on my bike on day one and tanked. I really struggled to get to the beach. My breath was not good, my hips hurt and my legs fatigued quickly. The little hills that are at the park, I was worried I would have to walk my bike up the hill. I kept looking at the bike wondering why it was being so hard...when it hit me. I had not achieved the ground I thought I did with riding my bike every morning since January. I was still a completely out of shape mess.

The biking wasn’t the only mark of it. Even walking in the sand, my calf muscles ached. I could feel my spirit and excitement deflate and felt rather defeated. It really blew my mind. Being on vacation with my husband and three strong teens, I felt really inadequate and like I was holding them back.

Upon returning home, I jumped into my catch-up routine last week for being out on vacation. I had to get my work obligations caught up and cleared out of the way so that I could get my personal time back. That is a given with my job that the week off of “work” is yet another illusion…and is still waiting for me upon my return. So I did the catch up routine and it brings me to this week. The six miles on the bike every morning is not enough. I may have carved out a 30 minute block of time in my busy schedule by getting on that bike, but I only scratched the surface in the waking up my muscles and doing enough of a job to make real changes. Weather conditions here in Tennessee are warm enough for walking, so I will be adding more walking to my daily routine. We have lots of hills here, so I hope this will add benefit. I need to get more serious with strength building. I need something more than the resistance band routine I am doing a couple of times per week…I need a more challenging routine. This week will be dedicated to finding a more productive routine and get my head back into the game. It is obvious that I need to work harder, invest more time and keep at in order to make this change in my life. It’s not going to be easy. I have to keep the head realistic. That was the most humbling part of this experience is discovery the gap between my head and the reality of my efforts. I really thought I was doing something and making progress just to fall so obviously flat. I thought I was going to feel the pay-off on my bike once I got to the street. It is obviously going to take more…a lot more. The journey continues!

	Posted by fellow HealthSteward Peggy-149 from New York on Mar 23, 2009 Keep moving forward! Hi Janet,  I really was riveted to your update.  I have felt that same way at times, thinking I'm doing a lot only to be deflated by some incidence.  My advice, (and you can take it or leave it).... Walk those hills, as you get stronger, go faster, try to beat your best time each week and you WILL get stronger.  Your legs, your heart, your stamina.  I'm still pondering what to do for upper body strength (something I enjoy and will stay with it for the long haul) but for now, this is working for me. One of the most important things I'm hearing in your update is that you are not using this new revelation as an excuse to give up but as motivation to move ahead.  I really like that about you.  I can't wait to see what happens when you start pushing with all you've got.  Gotta get the sweat pouring!  Peggy
	Posted by fellow HealthSteward Tim-215 from Ohio on Mar 23, 2009 Well put.  Being out there doing it is job #1, and then once you're getting that done, it's time to start moving on up to the next level, whatever that is. The core principles of exercise ... FITM = Frequency (how often), Intensity, Time (how much time spent), and Mode (what kind of exercise). You can vary all of these to fit your schedule and your goals.  And it's better to do what you can, every day, than do a whole lot too much one day to where you're down for the next several days.
	Posted by fellow HealthSteward Lorie-137 from Arizona on Mar 23, 2009 This was a very honest post.  Thanks for being so open with us.  Causes me to take a look at what I'm doing too.  Thanks!! I liked what Peggy said about this spurring you on instead of holding you back.  I suspect you'll do really well with this new understanding you have.
	Posted by fellow HealthSteward Kathy-227 from Arkansas on Mar 23, 2009 Well, that's good that you found out, don't you think? Glad you're refining and regrouping and not letting your disappointment overcome you!
	Posted by fellow HealthSteward Mary-104 from Minnesota on Mar 25, 2009 Janet, I applaud your persistence and determination to never give up. Hang in there, and I know you'll be posting good news regarding your strength and endurance before you know it.  Remember awhile back when you said something about "walking with purpose"? It was probably a couple of years ago. I've always remembered that, and to this day when I'm walking through the office or from the car to the store or whatever, I think of you and try to walk with purpose. It really makes a difference. You've had that lasting effect on me. Thank you!!
	Posted by fellow HealthSteward Jill-62 from California on Mar 31, 2009 Wow, Janet, you really hit the nail on the head.  Keeping your head in the game is really what it's all about.  I've had so many moments where I've felt inadequate, too, and feel like all the work I've done has been for nothing.  But look what you've learned, WE'VE learned - and that we never want to go back there.  You will get your stamina up there again.  Next time your family will be workin' hard to keep up with YOU!
	Posted by fellow HealthSteward Dave-40 from ON, Canada on Mar 7, 2010 Hi, Janet! Went and dug you up - miss you here. Hope this finds you & yours healthy & happy - Dave
	Posted by fellow HealthSteward Joyce-168 from Oregon on Apr 27, 2010 Hi JANET!!!  Since Dave "dug you up", I thought I would peek in too and tell you I miss you! How's it going?